|Snake Rising ~ Laura Smith|
I had this dream in June of 2012:
I am with some people and they are doing something to me, like maybe stringwork, like at a NOE retreat. I don’t understand what is happening but I am scared. I hear myself telling them, “no, no, no, no, no” like I am pleading with them not to do what they are about to do. Then a woman (the Anima), takes her hands and pulls her fingernails across my lower back at my sacrum. I feel a burning sensation and I feel my body arching and responding in a feeling of sensuality and desire outside of my control.This is how it can happen. This is a real moment, a real event in my life that carries all the feelings contained in the blocked place at my sacrum, which in the dream have to do with desire and sensuality. In the opening, I feel the energy released and traveling in my body. Some call this place of entry in the body the sacral chakra and refer to this energy as Kundalini. I only know the truth of what I feel in the dream and what I am feeling in my body more and more in my waking life since embarking on this journey.
I had a dream recently where I see a prepubescent girl on a bed. The Animus is watching her, focused intently upon her. I see her and think that she is coquettish, overly sexual for such a young girl. This is my judgment of The Girl: that she is bad to have this energy in her. This is the judgment that the history of the world has persecuted The Girl for. This is Gnostic knowledge which has been perverted by a world that is run by a terrified collective ego which attempts to suppress this energy. In fact, for most of us, it is so suppressed that we do not even know that it is there.
When my dreamwork analyst had me be this girl in our session, suddenly I experienced the unfamiliar but recognizable energy of the innocent, virginal girl in all her awakened sexual yearning and desire. This girl represents my soul and the pure, innocent, uncorrupted yearning and desire that is the untarnished part of me. I do not remember this energy from my own girlhood. Somehow, through the process of growing up in the house of my family, this energy was corrupted. Eve had already fallen from the Garden of Eden before I even had a chance to really know the Garden. But this is the yearning and desire that is part of my spiritual awakening, my desire to be joined with a higher power that I choose to call God.
In that same session, we worked this part of a dream:
…I see a blinding flash of white light on the eastern horizon. It looks like it’s coming from the hill beyond my parents’ house. I see a huge mushroom cloud appear as if from a nuclear explosion. I realize that the shock wave and radiation will be coming soon. I don’t feel scared but I feel like there is no way out. Oakley, my dog, is with me. We go down into the basement and it looks a little like the basement of my parents house only the ceiling is really low and the foundation is rock instead of cement. I think maybe we can avoid the radiation from down here. I see the light coming in from a small window and then realize there are holes all through the foundation where the radiation can get it. Then I see the radiation come in through the window and the holes. It looks transparent, like a disturbance to the air molecules and just seems to stay there like beams of light. I am lying on the floor with Oakley trying to stay underneath them. Oakley starts to walk forward and I tell her to watch out. Then I crawl forward too. Suddenly I feel a burning sensation on my back at my sacrum. I look back and see that a beam of radiation light has gotten caught on me, almost as if it was reaching for me, and is burning me. My back is arching and I feel the pain more like an electric current in my body. It is very intense and I feel caught in the beam.Here is more opening of the sacral chakra. This is a real event. This opening has occurred in me. My analyst had me bring this electric energy to the naked girl from the previous dream. In that moment, it was like the channel was blown open and sensuality erupted like a solar flare. In this combination of feelings, is something that we call alchemy. Alchemy is the place where transformation can occur. I don’t know what the transformation will look like, because unlike all of my ego and all of my past that is known, Alchemy, and the transformation associated with it, are part of the unknown or possibility of who I am from a soul perspective.
I am afraid of this energy. Much is written about the movement of energy associated with Kundalini. I believe that to open these blocked channels is terrifying, because it represents the birth or awakening of something new which intuitively we know will result in the death of some part of us, that thing that has blocked us, which is of the ego and may also relate to trauma. In the opening and release, there is no way to know what feelings will come or how we will be transformed.
In the dreams above, I try to avoid the light, the energy of the sacral opening, but the Archetypes won’t allow it. And, it seems, I have become a lightning rod for this energy in my body. It is painful. It feels like the pain of losing my virginity. Painful, but also pleasurable; a pain/pleasure that stays with me in my waking life like a reminder of who I am that I can be open to receiving the love that is inherent in this divine energy.
I wish I could say that I feel the channel as open all the time, but this is not true. I feel it opening and closing. I feel the rise of the Kundalini as an intense blooming sensation in my body. Sadly, like the Night-blooming Cereus, it is short lived and subsides fairly quickly. But, I have noticed, that the blooming continues and sometimes it is more intense than others and many times it has been sustained in my body for many minutes in an undulating wave of sensuality. This is what I am working with right now. Awakening is not linear, only the mind places the limits of a linear arrow of time on how the spirit awakens. It doesn't happen according to our ideas of time and space. It is mysterious, unfathomable, immeasurable, infinite and knows no bounds.
We think the dreams are just metaphorical or allegorical, that they just tell a story or reflect something about us. But the truth is, they are real and working with them can guide us to real transformation and healing, and a level of feeling that can only be described as spiritual. This has been my experience.