How can I describe what it is like to receive the love, the healing touch of the Divine? Just writing the words sends the shiver of the touch up my spine.
I am with an old woman. She wants to see the wounds on my back because she wants to heal them. I realize that I have many old scars on my back. I feel scared that it will hurt but I sit down and let her. I feel her pull away the cloth of my shirt. She has some kind of blue paste and she starts putting it on my back.The surrender to the receiving is a moment of importance to me. The Anima who has been so present in my dreamwork from the very beginning, continues to bring me love and support and healing. I feel afraid, like it might hurt to have my wounds touched. Yet, I allow it, and the feeling of joy is like grief in its intensity. I feel loved and nurtured and cared for. It is humbling to receive. She is beautiful in her patience, her kindness, her knowing.
Sitting in the chair, with my head tilted forward, she pulls a cloth off my back. It is soft, like muslin. I hear it whisper and feel the sensual slide of it across my skin. Cool air shivers me. I am revealed in my woundedness. The scars are there to see. She has a paste, some type of salve. It is a deep blue color. I feel her old woman hands pushing the salve into my skin, into the wounds, the puckered scars. The pain I feel is the pain of acceptance, the pain of receiving this gift. To know that it is for me. I am loved. She is the Divine female Archetype and she cares about my wounds, she knows each one and how much salve to use and how much pressure to apply. And she takes her time. It is like the massage that you don’t want to end that never has to.
There is something about the Anima in my work. I feel how much I need her. I feel how strong she is, how powerful. The Divine Mother, the Healer, the Teacher. The dream is a place where we can be in an intimate relationship with the Divine. It is our deepest self in its place of knowing. We can bring this intimacy into our waking world and carry it into each moment of our day.
I bring the chaos of my mind to her, to the place in the chair with my head down, cloth falling away, accepting her care.