Acceptance

From Cy Tombly's Bacchus Series

I have been very aware of my homework while on vacation here in London, to be the girl tied up in the burning building and to know that He is there with me. Most notably when I walked into the gallery at the Tate Modern where Cy Twombly’s paintings from the Bacchus series were and experienced a visceral assault. It was like I had stepped into the burning room of my dream. These paintings are extremely large scale and the vibrancy of the red causes the whole room to glow a luminous red. The loops of color are like dancing flames. I became overwhelmed with the feelings of pain and grief I have been experiencing in the homework that seem to be so close to the surface at times. In that moment of feeling, I was able to bring the presence of the Animus into my awareness and I felt a sense also of peace and acceptance in this place. My bondage falls away in the acceptance. I cannot avoid the pain, though every fiber of being has thought that I must. This is bondage of my own making...a bondage delivered of the ego who strives to deny the oneness that exists within the duality of my being by forcing me to choose, to cling to one or the other, keeping me always out of balance, in the eddy, projecting, reacting, distracted from the truth by all the noise of the world.

Right now, I am holding myself in the place of my homework with tenderness and love and acceptance.